Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
