dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
my sisters under your porch take her home
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
