Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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