you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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