it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
