Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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