Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize