The maid of honor just puked.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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