Having a random hookup so left but love u
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I want her autograph on my taint
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Randomize
