your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
