i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
