i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize