Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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