i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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