I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
