i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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