i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
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