OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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