I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
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