I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize
