sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
