Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
