it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
