I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
