Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
you made out with another girl for some wings
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
