Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
