Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Its about making memories worth repressing
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize