Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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