I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
