my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
