are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize