Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Randomize
