so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
