im gay
i know
yea but for you.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
