If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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