"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
