I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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