Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize