There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
