There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
