So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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