are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
