elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
do herpes really smell.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
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