Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I want her autograph on my taint
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
