Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
