I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize