The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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