careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
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