My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
