I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
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