butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
