that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
