Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
