it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
