Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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