His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
