At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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