it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
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