BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
