I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
God, I missed his penis.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
