Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize