I think I died a long time ago.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
