he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
