Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
