I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
