Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
