Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
You are a genius and a whore.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
