sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
