yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
