3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
