I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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