YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
