Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
