Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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