just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
two words...techno handjob
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
